Video: “Why Mediation?”

Jeff Murphy February 7th, 2014 No Comments

Mediation: A Solution For Your Divorce, Family Law or Business Disputes —


A Closeted Gay Adulterer

Jeff Murphy January 23rd, 2014 No Comments

Last Sunday, January 19,2014, the New York Times ran an interesting article in its Sunday Style section on Page 15. The article is titled: “In a Confrontation, a Secret is Revealed.”

It’s about a couple whose marriage fell apart after the husband told his wife that he was gay and had been having affairs with other men on a regular basis and for an extended period of time.

The article quotes both parties extensively on their actions and reactions to … More

Negotiating with Difficult People in Divorce

Jeff Murphy January 17th, 2014 No Comments

In my last blog I strongly suggested you consider the cost of litigating your divorce. You don’t want to spend your money putting your attorneys’ children through college instead of your own kids.
But maybe when you read that blog you thought, Murphy hasn’t got a clue how difficult my spouse can be to talk to!
How can I negotiate with a strong personality who won’t even let me get a word in edgewise?
You may be absolutely right.
But More

Who’s Going to College on Your Money?

Jeff Murphy January 14th, 2014 No Comments

Here’s a divorce question for you:
Do you want to litigate your divorce or mediate it?
Why do I ask, you say.
Let’s put it another way, choose A or B:
A. Do you want to see your money put the divorce attorneys’ kids through college?
B. Do you want to see your money put your own children through college?
If you and your spouse choose to go with the anger and desire for revenge scenario, then choice A will … More

Washington Shutdown and Divorce Mediation

Jeff Murphy October 2nd, 2013 No Comments

Most of us who are trained mediators learned the process of “Principled Negotiation”. It’s the theory behind Roger Fisher and William Ury’s Great work -”Getting To Yes”. It teaches how to negotiate without compromising principles but by examining each parties’ positions and exploring the underlying needs and interests to create options that can help reach fair and equitable solutions and settlements.
Someone in Washington should give copies of the book to President Obama and Speaker Boehner. The President told the … More

Testing Your Parenting Conflicts II

Jeff Murphy February 6th, 2013 No Comments

In my last blog, I talked about using emails, etc., to communicate with your ex about parenting scheduling and conflicts. The idea, which came from a November 25, 2012 article in the New York Times ( v, was designed to avoid disagreement, (to put it mildly), in front of the children.This may work in the worst of circumstances, where the parties truly are incapable of any civilized communication.
But let’s think about the messages it sends to the children. … More

Texting Your Parenting Conflicts

Jeff Murphy January 25th, 2013 No Comments

Late last November, the New York Times ran an article on the front page of its Style Section ( 11/25/2012) entitled v The gist of the piece was that unlike the old days when mothers were just about assured of being awarded primary or sole custody of their children in divorce, there is now a great deal more equality in the parenting time given to dads.
While this is a major win for fathers and also for the … More

Is your Mediator a “Bungling Idiot’?

Jeff Murphy January 4th, 2013 No Comments

Now there is an interesting title for a man who makes his living as a divorce mediator!
One of my mediator colleagues told me the other day that a former client of hers had been heard at the Family Court telling the referee that she (the mediator) hadn’t calculated his portion of his wife’s retirement plan to get the maximum for him.
Since the amount wasn’t to his best advantage, then the mediator was incompetant and “a bungling idiot”.
So, … More

Don’t let your kids manipulate you at Christmas

Jeff Murphy November 20th, 2012 No Comments

Her’s another holiday parenting tip:
My last tip was that you check with your ex to be sure that he/she will be following your previously agreed upon holiday schedule for the kids. If the schedule is changed and it’s not to your liking, then it’s time to contact your lawyer or mediator, (I’m here for you!), to get things straightened out. Don’t wait until Christmas Eve and expect the courts to help you.
Now, I want you to think about … More

Holiday Parenting Time Reminder

Jeff Murphy November 4th, 2012 No Comments

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah are fast approaching. If you are divorced with minor children, you need to check with your ex right away to see if he or she intends to stick to the holiday schedule you set up in your divorce settlement.
Don’t wait until Thanksgiving Eve or December 23rd. You may find out there is a problem and you need to get your lawyer involved.
If there is a problem, then you may want to take it to … More

Jeff Murphy – Mediator | Attorney

Jeff Murphy brings over 35 years of corporate, civil and domestic relations experience to the table when he is called to mediate a dispute. His broad background includes service as a Chief Counsel for Upjohn Company subsidiaries, private practice as a corporate and product liability litigator, consulting on corporate compliance issues, and lecturing as an Adjunct Professor of Antitrust and Trade Regulation.