In my last blog, I talked about using emails, etc., to communicate with your ex about parenting scheduling and conflicts. The idea, which came from a November 25, 2012 article in the New York Times (Kramer.com v Kramer.com), was designed to avoid disagreement, (to put it mildly), in front of the children.This may work in the worst of circumstances, where the parties truly are incapable of any civilized communication.
But let’s think about the messages it sends to the children. … More

Late last November, the New York Times ran an article on the front page of its Style Section (nytimes.com 11/25/2012) entitled Kramer.com v Kramer.com. The gist of the piece was that unlike the old days when mothers were just about assured of being awarded primary or sole custody of their children in divorce, there is now a great deal more equality in the parenting time given to dads.
While this is a major win for fathers and also for the … More

Now there is an interesting title for a man who makes his living as a divorce mediator!
One of my mediator colleagues told me the other day that a former client of hers had been heard at the Family Court telling the referee that she (the mediator) hadn’t calculated his portion of his wife’s retirement plan to get the maximum for him.
Since the amount wasn’t to his best advantage, then the mediator was incompetant and “a bungling idiot”.
So, … More

Her’s another holiday parenting tip:
My last tip was that you check with your ex to be sure that he/she will be following your previously agreed upon holiday schedule for the kids. If the schedule is changed and it’s not to your liking, then it’s time to contact your lawyer or mediator, (I’m here for you!), to get things straightened out. Don’t wait until Christmas Eve and expect the courts to help you.
Now, I want you to think about … More

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah are fast approaching. If you are divorced with minor children, you need to check with your ex right away to see if he or she intends to stick to the holiday schedule you set up in your divorce settlement.
Don’t wait until Thanksgiving Eve or December 23rd. You may find out there is a problem and you need to get your lawyer involved.
If there is a problem, then you may want to take it to … More

Last week, Mitt Romney fell victim to a variation on Murphy’s Law. The variation was identified by a Finnish professor, Osmo A. Wiio.
Here’s what happened: Romney got hit between the eyes when he innocently said that when he started as governor of Massachussetts and was trying to fill his cabinet positions, he noticed his staff had not included any female candidates. He asked for some names and the staff gave him “binders of women”.
What might be considered an … More

Are you divorced with children? Are you having difficulties with your “ex” over visitation, parenting time, and payment of child support?
Many of my family law attorney friends tell me that even when their clients reach an amicable settlement without going to trial, such as in a collaborative practice or mediated divorce, the clients end up coming back after the judgment is entered. Why?
Because they didn’t spend enough time in the settlement discussions ironing out the problems that can … More

A recent study showed that couples who began their lives together by co-habiting before marriage had a higher rate of divorce than those who waited until the knot was tied. (The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage-nytimes.com)
Considering that 50% of all marriages already end in divorce, it seems counter-intuitive that having a “test-run” would cause even more break-ups.
Most “20-somethings” think it makes sense to live together before taking the plunge. But the evidence is different. It seems that in … More

We have “no-fault divorce” here in the States, but in the U.K. a party suuing for divorce still has to prove cause. Officially the grounds are such serious matters as adultery and abandonment, but it seems the courts will take just about anything presented.

Check out the Saturday April 7, 2012 issue of the new York Times “Tuna Again? In Fault-Finding England, It’s a Cause for Divorce”.

Some of the incredible reasons given are:

He made her dress in a … More

Check out the article about divorce counseling in the personal Journal section of the April 3, 2012 issue of the Wall Street journal: www.wsj.com.

Instead of the normal couples counseling aimed at resolving issues and preserving the relationship, there is a new method called “discernment counseling” the goal of which appears to be to focus on the decision to divorce itself and if that is the decision, how to make it least painful or stressful for the one left behind.… More