A recent study showed that couples who began their lives together by co-habiting before marriage had a higher rate of divorce than those who waited until the knot was tied. (The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage-nytimes.com)
Considering that 50% of all marriages already end in divorce, it seems counter-intuitive that having a “test-run” would cause even more break-ups.
Most “20-somethings” think it makes sense to live together before taking the plunge. But the evidence is different. It seems… More

We have “no-fault divorce” here in the States, but in the U.K. a party suuing for divorce still has to prove cause. Officially the grounds are such serious matters as adultery and abandonment, but it seems the courts will take just about anything presented.

Check out the Saturday April 7, 2012 issue of the new York Times “Tuna Again? In Fault-Finding England, It’s a Cause for Divorce”.

Some of the incredible reasons given are:

He made her dress in a… More

Check out the article about divorce counseling in the personal Journal section of the April 3, 2012 issue of the Wall Street journal: www.wsj.com.

Instead of the normal couples counseling aimed at resolving issues and preserving the relationship, there is a new method called “discernment counseling” the goal of which appears to be to focus on the decision to divorce itself and if that is the decision, how to make it least painful or stressful for the one left behind.

Which is more destructive of a marriage, a face to face argument or with a beginning, a  middle and an end, or routine everyday nagging?

A good fight can clear the air on an issue and might lead to some post fight “make up” sessions, but low grade nagging tends to lead to unspoken resentment and long term development of a cold relationship.

Sometimes, it might be better if the person who feels his/her partner is in non-stop nagging mode… More

In Part II, I suggested that you avoid bad-mouthing your “ex”. It ruins the holiday spirit and can come back to bite you when the kids learn to bad mouth you. Christmas is the season of goodwill and peace. Why not use it as an opportunity to actually improve your relationship with your “ex”, even if it is only for the sake of your children? You might find yourself less bitter and angry and better able to focus on your future.

Here’s… More

In Part I, I recommended that you contact your “ex” before the holiday rush to confirm that he/she was  going to live up to the parenting schedule you had worked out before. 

 Here in Part II, I want to remind you that it’s you and your spouse who divorced and not your kids. They didn’t file for divorce, you did. If you or your ex is bad mouthing the other in front of the kids, remember they will learn to bad… More

This is the first in a series of short blogs to help you avoid a parenting problem in the next few weeks – the dreaded “Holidays”.

It’s a shame so much stress and tension surrounds Thanksgiving and Christmas. Too many movies are made about the sometimes ugly get-togethers with relatives who don’t get along the rest of the year and don’t want to see each other now, but feel obliged to. Added to this is the problem of divorced couples with… More

Nineteen percent of all marriages in 2008 were a  second go-round for at least one party. If there were problems that led to a divorce in the first marriage, how sure are you that you won’t repeat them again in the second?

The Wall Street Journal, September 20, 2011, page D1, has an excellent article on the questions you should ask yourself before you dive into the pool again.

1. Why? Is it for financial security, a parent for your… More

On September 6, 2011 the Journal published an article on children and divorce in its Personal Journal section (D1)

The article contained some standard advice on how to establish parenting plans for post divorce life that put the “best interests of the children” first. The suggestions were based on the idea that the parents divorced, not the children and that even couples who hated each other could develop workable plans.

Oi vay! You should read the comments sent to the paper… More

 The latest episode of “Entourage” on HBO (Sunday August 14, 2011) reminded me of a blog I wrote on January 17th, entitled “Pointing Fingers”. In the Entourage episode, Ari Gold, the talent agent, arrives late for his marriage counseling session with his wife. She explodes in anger and refuses to even listen to his legitimate excuse (Ari’s client, movie star Vince Chase, has been at the scene of a drug related suicide)  The wife stomps out of the session; Ari gets revenge and humiliates his… More