A recent study showed that couples who began their lives together by co-habiting before marriage had a higher rate of divorce than those who waited until the knot was tied. (The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage-nytimes.com)
Considering that 50% of all marriages already end in divorce, it seems counter-intuitive that having a “test-run” would cause even more break-ups.
Most “20-somethings” think it makes sense to live together before taking the plunge. But the evidence is different. It seems… More

Check out the article about divorce counseling in the personal Journal section of the April 3, 2012 issue of the Wall Street journal: www.wsj.com.

Instead of the normal couples counseling aimed at resolving issues and preserving the relationship, there is a new method called “discernment counseling” the goal of which appears to be to focus on the decision to divorce itself and if that is the decision, how to make it least painful or stressful for the one left behind.

In Part II, I suggested that you avoid bad-mouthing your “ex”. It ruins the holiday spirit and can come back to bite you when the kids learn to bad mouth you. Christmas is the season of goodwill and peace. Why not use it as an opportunity to actually improve your relationship with your “ex”, even if it is only for the sake of your children? You might find yourself less bitter and angry and better able to focus on your future.

Here’s… More

This is the first in a series of short blogs to help you avoid a parenting problem in the next few weeks – the dreaded “Holidays”.

It’s a shame so much stress and tension surrounds Thanksgiving and Christmas. Too many movies are made about the sometimes ugly get-togethers with relatives who don’t get along the rest of the year and don’t want to see each other now, but feel obliged to. Added to this is the problem of divorced couples with… More

Nineteen percent of all marriages in 2008 were a  second go-round for at least one party. If there were problems that led to a divorce in the first marriage, how sure are you that you won’t repeat them again in the second?

The Wall Street Journal, September 20, 2011, page D1, has an excellent article on the questions you should ask yourself before you dive into the pool again.

1. Why? Is it for financial security, a parent for your… More

 The latest episode of “Entourage” on HBO (Sunday August 14, 2011) reminded me of a blog I wrote on January 17th, entitled “Pointing Fingers”. In the Entourage episode, Ari Gold, the talent agent, arrives late for his marriage counseling session with his wife. She explodes in anger and refuses to even listen to his legitimate excuse (Ari’s client, movie star Vince Chase, has been at the scene of a drug related suicide)  The wife stomps out of the session; Ari gets revenge and humiliates his… More

There is an important article in the July 9, 2011 issue of the Wall Street Journal: “The Divorce Generation”

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303544604576430341393583056.html?KEYWORDS=the+divorce+generation 

  The article reveals the problems of the  adult children of divorced parents and their fear that they will follow in same miserable footsteps. Divorce is far more devastating on these people than we thought. They lived through the trauma of fights over custody, parenting time,  and unpaid child support. Being shuttled back and forth every few days or worse, rarely seeing the… More

Give your kids a happy Father’s Day…

I have a new article in the June 2011 issue of Womens LifeStyle Magazine of Greater Kalamazoo, http://www.womenslifestylekazoo.com on the dangers of badmouthing your ex to the kids.  See page 19.

Too often one parent will act out his or her anger against the other parent by telling the kids repeatedly what an evil person their ex is.  Eventually the children begin to think it’s actually their idea that the parent is bad.… More

Up to now, we’ve been talking about what you should be asking a prospective divorce lawyer in Kalamazoo. In a later blog, I’ll summarize all the questions to ask her as well as the questions you should ask yourself to determine what you really need.

Here we’re going to examine what’s going on in the attorney’s mind when he or she looks across the desk at a prospective client. You might find the comments blunt and even  ”off-putting” but the… More

At the end of my last blog (Part 1), on hiring a Kalamazoo divorce lawyer, I said that after we talk and decide that mediation might not be for you that I would then recommend the right kind of lawyer.

Here I want to list a couple of questions you might want to ask that prospective divorce attorney.

1. Do you specialize in family law and divorce? If not how much of your practice is devoted to divorce work and how long have… More